I don’t feel bad that our friendship is neglected and lost. Today, I was walking to class and saw you looked at me with familiarity by my peripheral vision. As I looked back and see it is you, you pass by me like you don’t know me. I won’t forget the times that we always hang out and ate lunch together in high school. It was nice knowing you and you were a good friend. Sometimes, I see that we don’t get along because we have problems of our own. Neglecting each other for two years now. I’m not sure what has gotten in to us, but I don’t have anything against you. If you have something to say, confront it to me.
Running away doesn’t solve the problem, but it will ease the pain that you two have caused; this deep gap that can never be closed.
It was 11:15am as I was walking to the counseling building this random stranger walked up to me and started to hit on me. He was faking that he was lost and asked me for directions to some military meeting spot that I don’t know of. And asked me if we met before and I said no, we never met before. He then, admitted that he was kidding and started to give me a handshake. I didn’t want to be rude so I gave him the handshake and politely told him that I have a boyfriend. As he process that through his head, he said “awww maann. I would’ve taken you out to a romantic date”. I said, bye and left to go to my counseling appointment. The thing is, that is the third time this year that someone tried to hit on me AT MY SCHOOL. Boy, do I look like someone who wants to get hit on by strangers? I mean what do I look like to you? Do I look that easy? Hells no, I am not! Don’t go around randomly trying to get with girls who you don’t know or they don’t know you because that’s some weird shit to meet someone. I have a boyfriend and I love him and he love me. Maybe I’ll blog about how we actually met. :)
It hurts, I know. Not the kind of romance rejection. I’m more focused on the bigger picture; the jobs/career that you couldn’t get accepted in. The world is very competitive. I don’t trust employees to take my application and resume because they’re not the source for hiring. Some managers can be very bias. They don’t just analyze your qualities, but your appearance as well. There are times when I feel like shit and just want to curl up in my blanket and forget the world. On top of that, it just makes me a stronger person. I learn from my mistakes and with those experience I will make corrections. Currently, still desperately searching for good and friendly environment retail jobs to earn cash for my broke ass. I look younger than my age to most people, but I still have extended of years ahead of me to accomplish what I want to do. Majoring in Nursing and taking my foot through the door of the medical field by the CNA training. I need at least one year of internship experience to get towards my first dream. No one can ever stop me, even rejections. “Fighting”, like some Koreans might say. Continue to follow your dream(s), don’t let anyone stop you, EVER.
I pulled another all-nighter again, I guess I ponder to hard on myself. I tend to over think too much about almost everything. Especially when I get excited about something, but it happens sometimes. Probably my subconsciousness is the culprit that is pestering my sleepless nights. Although, I don’t get enough sleep, I’m still energetic as my dog. I’m blogging 5 am in the morning and I’m about to check on my breakfast. The sun is rising and I’m going to Great America with my boyfriend and his family in an hour. I believe the one where we are heading is in Santa Clara, around 2 hour drive there. This will be my second time going there because my first time going there was with my sisters, cousin, and one of my sister’s bf. Its funny and yet adroable when my bf said, “come with me I want to win stuffed animals”. Well I got to wrap things up. Later, tumblr’s.
Stay humble as I remind myself, but be confident as you get through where you want to be. Arrogance and uptight will make you look like an unwanted pest. Drop it and always watch what you say, its not worth wasting your breath on. Don’t let your emotions control you are it will conquer you, an old friend once told me. Sometimes I’m a lover, sometimes I’m a fighter. Don’t care what anyone says about you because its who you are, if they don’t like it then theres the exit. Underestimating others will get you blind folded. Life is full of surprises, you don’t know what will hit you. Don’t that sound familiar? Some people who tries to assist others present it in a strange way. Either for good or bad, its not your place to butt in. Drama is what I’m trying to avoid, but sometimes it just can’t be fixed. I always ponder about my future that everything will be wonderful, but the present is pulling me down. Miscommunication is something that everyone gets. Such strong words could be for anyone. As they always said, “bricks and stones can break my bones, but words can’t.” My delicate soul is vulnarable to emptiness filled with hatred when its hurt. My cerebrum is one of the things that keeps me in place to alter the negativity into positivity.
I miss feeling that warm feeling that I can only get when I’m with you.
I suck at my social life sometimes to people that I’m acquainted with. I honestly just don’t know what to say, but when I say something it just get awkward.